The Monster in the Room

It'd been about a month since we did insulin ratio changes.  Yesterday we changed all but one.  He is now 8:1 for all meals and at 13 for Lantus.  Even with the changes he ran high yesterday and of course we're now second guessing.  "Did you eat anything out of the fridge without telling us?"  It's made all of us uncomfortable.  And I don't know how to not worry that he's eating and not telling.

So I had a day yesterday of reliving four months ago in my head.  How do I stay aware?  I don't ever want to miss the signs of something again.  Did you know that with an autoimmune disease like type 1 it increases your risk for having other disorders like Addison's disease, celiac disease and thyroid disorders?  I have to stay on my toes.  I will not miss signs.  I keep telling myself that it's critical just like keeping on top of his diabetes.  I check his feet now.  We daily ask how he's feeling, to the point that he sometimes gets exasperated.  I don't want to miss something so vitally important, again.  I don't like 20/20 hind site.  I don't like what almost happened to my Sugar Bear and I don't like the guilt.  I want to protect him.  I want to make it better.  I want to find a way.

And because of that drive I'm diving into advocacy, fundraising, and research.  I've joined JDRF and will be walking June 7 to raise funds to make Type 1 Type None.  If you'd like to donate to our walk we are Team Sugar Bear. https://secure3.convio.net/jdrf3/site/SPageServer/;jsessionid=569886F06527EC4077CB207AF9F334A2.app332b?pagename=walk_homepage
 I want a cure.  I don't want to give up on that hope even if it means I never get to a place of acceptance with my son's disease.  I will not let this monster control us.