Saturday, March 3, 2018


What Keeps Us Going

Four years and two months for MonkeyMan and today marks exactly three years for Drago.  Thousands upon thousands of finger pokes.  Lots of shots.  So many pump changes and cgm changes (hey, those things have needles too).  Regularly interrupted sleep.  December 2017 and January marked some firsts..,.the first time I had to go in late to work because MonkeyMan dropped super low and hubby was fast asleep.  And our very first ER trip in January for MonkeyMan due to the stomach bug where he got some fluids and IV zofran and managed to somehow not end up in DKA.  Stomach bugs and T1 are quite challenging.  But MonkeyMan took it all in stride with such an amazing attitude.  He had doctors and nurses in the trauma room laughing with his "I'd rather take another needle than hear another Dad joke." "Yay, stomach bug." And "Where do you get one of these beds?" comments.  Life is both entertaining and crazy with teens with T1.

So here I am today, thinking about the last three years with two T1s.  We had our endocrinologist appointment yesterday and it was the worst for both boys.  I think we are all a little burnt out.  The daily nonstop aspect of this disease definitely takes a toll.  We've reached a point where Drago doesn't consistently wear his CGM, where MonkeyMan would rather just eat than prebolus, where the hubby and I are tired of the beeping and the struggle.  I'd say we would all need a break but you don't really get a break with this disease.  No breaks ever. Ever.

So yeah, today, today I let myself cry.  I let myself grieve.  I kind of "took a break".  We still checked BG, bolused for food, corrected highs, treated lows, but I stayed in my PJs.  I watched TV.  I'll pick up the pieces and start again tomorrow.  I have to.