Monday, May 26, 2014

The Perfect Number

I spoke too soon.  Yesterday Sugar Bear had three lows and one bounce to a succeeding low at midnight.  Spent an hour in the middle of the night just getting it into range and then above 120 so I could sleep.  The day before that he had one low (not super low) and one in the 200s and also a low at midnight.

Numbers.  Numbers dance in my head.  What day is it, what time is it, what is his BS number, number of carbs, how many units, etc...etc...etc...numbers, needles, and blood.  I've never been much for any of those, now my son depends on them for his life.  And I've had to adjust.   Now numbers and math affect me (and my baby) in real life.  Now they mean something.  They mean something real.  They are important.

Last night and today have been harder adjustment days.  For example, today Sugar Bear laid down around 2:15pm and hubby thought he was just resting.  I came in and talked to him for a few minutes as I was getting ready to go grocery shopping.  It wasn't our normal testing time but something made me check.  Maybe it was the fact that he doesn't normally "fall asleep" that quickly or take middle of the day naps or that he stopped talking with me but I decided I needed to know what his BS was before I left.

  Juice box and two glucose tabs and fifteen minutes later he was back to low 80s.  And Glucose tabs-that was a first but this was a low where he was a bit out of it and we wanted to make sure we brought it up fast.  Once the sugar was in he perked right up.  Hubby went grocery shopping and I stayed home and played cards with my Sugar Bear as my heart slowly stopped racing and my adrenalin dissipated.  "What if" scenarios playing across my mind....he beat me soundly.

The perfect number for us seems to be 120.  It's not low enough to worry about dropping out of range and not high enough for those kinds of concerns.  Yeah, we like that number.  It makes us happy.  A number actually makes us feel good. Most are scary.  80-150 is really a small range in the scheme of all the available BS numbers.  I'll take a 120 over a 47 every time.  Who knew numbers could cause feelings.

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