Sunday, February 16, 2014

Choice

Changes in carb ratios again.

 Have another endo appointment this thursday.  We have lots of questions.

 The pen works better for all of us.  Now to see if we can do his nighttime insulin with a pen as well. 

I read an article today on a possible link between type 1 and cleanliness.
 http://www.iol.co.za/lifestyle/link-between-diabetes-and-cleanliness-1.1647400#.UwFZMbSWk8A
The thing is we've never been super clean.  He's always been my "feral" child.  He'd eat mulch at my older son's baseball games when he was a toddler.  Everything went into his mouth.  We have pets.  He hates to be clean unlike his older brother who washes his hands incessantly.  If anything I think we are dirtier than most.  Maybe, maybe it has more to do with the autoimmune diseases my husband has and the exposure to endocrine inhibitors that my husband and I were exposed to in our first apartment.  I think we should worry more about toxin exposure than cleanliness.  I developed endometriosis after that and hubby developed psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis.  I worried if I had a child those were the diseases we'd pass on.  We had genetic testing because my husband's family had two children diagnosed with Tay-Sachs and we were worried about that.  It turns out that hubby is a carrier but I'm not which means the kids could be carriers or not. If they are carriers they need to know because if they marry someone that is a carrier as well they could have a child with Tay-Sachs.  Tay-Sachs is an incurable, terminal disease.  Anyway, I don't think cleanliness is the answer to how my son developed Type 1 diabetes.  I wish I knew.

We've had some lows and some highs these last couple of days.  I guess that comes with insulin changes too.  We ordered Chinese the other night, unfortunately they said it'd be here a lot sooner than it showed up.  I had to feed him something else and then the poor boy couldn't have the Chinese because he'd already had his insulin for the carbs he ate.  It was not a good night.  We saved him some of the food for the next day for lunch.  It wasn't the same.  And then when he did have it he ran high all day.  The joys of type 1 diabetes (sarcasm).

Work scheduled me for Thursday even though I requested it off a month ago.  My supermarket supervisor said he doesn't have a cake decorator that can work thursdays.  I told him a month ago!  I have to take FMLA off for the day.  Plus taking the FMLA daily because I they won't let me work 9-5:30 instead of my scheduled 10-6:30, well, let's just say this is stressful.

Today was tough.  Hubby was out.  Sugar Bear was hungry but it was after lunch and in the snack time, so I tested.  He was a bit high but since he'd had insulin only 2 hours earlier I decided we didn't need to correct because I assumed he was still coming down.  I let him have his free 15g snack.  An hour later and we have a meltdown.  I couldn't tell if he was super low or high.  He was bawling uncontrollably and rigid.  I managed to pry a finger to test.  He was high.  I got the pen out and had to wrangle a rigid arm and give a shot.  I held him for 15 minutes while he calmed down and then we tested again.  He was coming down and feeling better.  My stomach was in knots.  We talked about how it's hard to control our emotions when BS is not in range and how much better we feel when it is. He said he was sorry and I could tell it really bothered him.  He said it was all his fault but I was the one that let him have a snack a bit early.  I was the one that didn't correct right away for his higher reading. I felt so bad for how he felt.    Some days feel almost normal and then there are days like today where I just want to cry.  I know we got this.  We have to.  We have no choice. I want my Sugar Bear to live a long and happy life.  We got this.  

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