Apologies

"I'm so sorry." I said to Sugar Bear last night right after giving him his INsillion.  You see, we prep the injection site with an alcohol swab and usually wait for Sugar Bear to tell us it's dry before we give the shot.  We did all those last night but it wasn't dry.  Tears immediately welled up in his eyes and I felt like the worst Mother ever until I did it again when we went to test his BS a few minutes later.  Then I didn't just feel like the worst, I was the worst.

And then to top it off, tonight with his dinner shot I got blood.  Uggg.  I feel like the ground is constantly shifting under me.  It doesn't help that Sugar Bear had a BS of 299 at 3am.  Where did that number come from?  He didn't feel too good this morning so hubby checked ketones.  He had some trace/small ones when I checked and then none a few hours later.  By the time I got home he said he was feeling better.  Phew.  That's a bit of a relief.

Have used three hours of FMLA at work, an hour a day, in order to be home to feed and take care of Sugar Bear and my disabled diabetic husband and my thirteen year old.  When that runs out I'll be relegated to part time status.  This is also stressing me out.  Finances are tight.  Free time is fairly non-existent, but I am looking forward to this weekend.  Hubby will be out of town from Friday evening to Sunday evening and since we don't have someone that could take care of Sugar Bear while I'm at work I have three days off in a row.  I need it.  I've worked the last seven days straight and have to work tomorrow.  Three days with my boys sounds wonderful.  Just wish it could be all of us.  My older boy has offered to do breakfast and checks and shots to let me sleep in.  I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.  I don't think I'd be able to sleep anyway when they are up.  It's never felt right.    I think instead we'll play games, have popcorn, watch movies, have dinner with friends, and just live!