Sucker Punched

Sucker punched today.  Isn't that an ironic phrase, sucker punched.  It makes me think of lollipops and tootsie pops, but this wasn't one of those.  I feel like someone punched me in the gut, made my heart relocate to my stomach, closed off my throat and put imminent waterworks behind my eyes.

I went to wake my 14 yo up for school this morning only to discover he'd wet the bed.  He doesn't normally wet the bed.  Although, I'm sure you remember we had something similar in December.  I got the meter out and tested his BS.  314.  There really is nothing I could say after that number.  I called the school to let them know he would once again not be there.  Then I called Sugar Bear's endo.  They said they couldn't see him; I guess since he's not one of their patients.  So I called his pediatrician.  They said they couldn't see him til tomorrow evening because he had to be seen by one specific doc.  At this point I'm furious.  I've rechecked and he was 259.   He still hadn't eaten which would be necessary for blood work.  So I called my husband and my doctor.  She said she could see him.  They did a urinalysis and an A1c.  We won't have the A1c results til tomorrow.  The urinalysis wasn't good.  The only good thing about it was no ketones.  The doc then called the referral for the endo.  She did tell me it would probably be a day or two before the endo got back with us.  Finally got some food at 3pm.  Endo's office called very soon after we got home and we are headed in there early tomorrow morning for more blood work and a "refresher" course on type 1.   Endo called again a little bit later and said to check blood sugar two hours after eating and to call if he was over 300, it was 402.  Endo doc gave us some numbers and corrections to use for dinner and the high number and directions to call back if the next check was over 200.  First ever shot of 5 units of insulin in the right arm.  He didn't even flinch.  He was nervous.  Anyway, then I needed to get the supplies from the pharmacy.  Big hassle.  They didn't have novolog (the fast acting insulin).  I needed to pick that up about a half an hour away at another pharmacy and some supplies won't be in til tomorrow.  Luckily (I say in jest) we have supplies already on hand.  When I went to get the insulin, it hadn't been refrigerated.  Had to ask for a new one that was refrigerated.  On the way back home i stopped at work to see if it was possible to move my shift later so I could be with Drago at least for a little bit in the morning.  I go into work at noon.  Then I called to see what his two hours after eating number was--376.  More insulin, 3.5 units and give long lasting lantus at 10.  When I got home I was getting the supplies out of the van, rain pouring when a car drove by and splashed me.  I was soaked.  I went
in, cleaned up and gave him the Lantus at 10 with tears streaming down his face.  He then went upstairs and bawled his eyes out while I held him.  He's scared.  He hates this.  I hate this.  I can't believe we are here.  I know, I know at least we already know this and we caught it early before DKA but it's not stopping me from saying this just isn't fair!

This. Just. Isn't. Fair.