Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Dance

Valentine's Day was....  I took Sugar Bear to swim class in the morning.  At the end of class the kids all have to jump in without holding a hand.  I could see on Sugar Bear's face how uncomfortable he was.  Then I saw him talking to his teacher and then I got the wave and pointing to his finger and he started walking towards me.  I grabbed the kit knowing that was what he was motioning about.  When I got to them he said he felt shaky.  He hasn't been feeling his lows and in the back of my mind I was already thinking that he's probably fine.  I tested without hesitation.  He was 208.  Just nervous to jump in.  We talked for a moment about how he could do it.  I went back and sat down and watched him tackle the tiger.  He jumped.  Shaky. He did it.  It amazes me how brave he is with his disease and what things unnerve him.  After class we planned on staying and playing in the pool but it looked like there were classes in all the areas.  It didn't look like it was going to happen and Sugar Bear got very upset.  He refused to talk with me.  We sat and waited and a nice instructor came over and saw the tears on his face and said her class hadn't shown up and she'd love to swim with us.  It took some cajoling (he was high after all) but we got in and did have fun.  He loves to play Marco Polo in the pool.  After swimming we got in the car to go home and I had him check his blood sugar again.  210.  We were going for an early lunch.  We were still working on fixing the grumpies.  We had a bit of miscommunication during the drive that totally frustrated him.  It was all a bit hard.  We got the food and headed home with his treat.  At home things turned around, we played games, did some mosaic crafts, and played with toys.  At afternoon snack he was slightly out of range and we would normally give a correction but he said "I exercised this morning so I think we should wait."  We did.  We've been trying to let him decide more on what he thinks we should do in order to help him gain independence with his treatment.  I'm glad we didn't correct the high; he was in perfect range at dinner.  He would have probably gone low had we given the shot at snack.  We had a lovely dinner of heart shaped ravioli.  We rounded the evening out by watching Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart.  Sugar Bear loved it until the end.  He was furious with the open ended finale.  I tried to discuss with him the artistic impression, etc...yeah, he is 10.  Still he liked it.  I, on the other hand, loved it.  A boy is born with a frozen heart and it is replace with a fragile cuckoo clock.  I cried at the end.  I want spoil anything, but I will say that this movie was perfect for Valentine's Day.  It showed all the different kinds of love from risk taking puppy love to the heartbreaking love a mother has for her child.  I thought it exquisitely beautiful.  A sort of steampunk cartoon musical.  Just so different.  Of course some reviews say it is not appropriate for children because of the heavy themes of love, life, and death.  Honestly, I think my 10 year old is the perfect age to have seen it because of what he has gone and is going through.  He could completely identify with Jack.  And I saw Jack in him and Madeline in me.  It hit home.

We have been dealing with highs and lows.  No surprise there.  We did have two "shocks" this week.  We had a low of 63 at 3am.  Gave the juice fairly easily.  Tested fifteen minutes later and it had only gone up one point.  More carbs.  Tested fifteen minutes later and still not in a safe enough zone to fall asleep.  More carbs.  Waited another fifteen minutes and we were close.  Waited another fifteen, tested, and could finally fall asleep, worrying that he would the have a rebound high or that his dawn phenomenon would make him high by breakfast.  Nope, he had a beautiful 126 at waking.  Don't ask me how.  This disease plays games that aren't fun.  The other shocker was at bedtime snack.  Tested he was low, gave carbs, waited and then tested again and the scariest number popped up on the meter.  38.  With my heart stopped I tried not to panic and we tested again immediately hoping it was just a fluke.  Yup.  Still low but not that low.  More carbs.  Another test and back to "normal".   It's always a dance or fencing or just a stupid disease that doesn't play fair.  I've aged easily 10 years this past year.

Drago now has strep and I am hoping and wishing and praying to everything that no one (especially Sugar Bear) gets it.  We managed to avoid passing the stomach bug (knock on wood) so maybe...

In order to work towards even healthier habits I got a Vita-mix.  I love it.  I've made smoothies and soup in the last two days.  I want to cut out soda for me (the kids don't drink it) and I think this will definitely help.

Health, independence, life.  Just dance and breathe.

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