Contemplation

You know how it feels when you have a tiny itty bitty pebble inside your shoe?  You can't take the shoe off yet so as you walk you squish your foot around hoping to move that annoying piece away from the most delicate parts of your foot but it keeps moving anyway.  It might cause some bruising and maybe even a cut or blister that could lead to infection.  It always causes some sharp pain here and there and definitely is distracting.  But what a relief it is when you finally get to take your shoe off and remove the tiniest sedimentary fragment you've ever seen.  It might even make you think of the Princess and the Pea.  Maybe you'll admonish yourself for being so sensitive.  Maybe you won't even give it a second thought.  We'd like to remove the pebble from our shoes, please.  The longer it moves around in there the more likely it is to cause issues.  That is diabetes, Type 1 and Type 2.  And we need a cure.

Autoimmune:  your own body decides to attack itself but it's not like a dog chasing his tail, real damage happens.  Organs no longer have the ability to function the way they are supposed to.  Both boys lost their beta cells in their pancreas, the ones that produced insulin.  (Type 1 Diabetes)  Both boys are losing pigment in their skin. (Vitiligo)   Drago has also been diagnosed with G.E.R.D. (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) and Gastropareisis (delayed emptying of the stomach).  And Sugar Bear's thyroid has been under attack for a year from his own body (Hashimoto's) and has just lost the war (hypothyroidism).  Today at our endo appointment we found out that his TSH level was 16!  (Normal is around 3).  Today he'll start taking more medicine he'll have to take for the rest of his life. I got tears in my eyes but my Sugar Bear said "I was just wondering when I was going to have to start taking medicine for that.  At least it's not a needle. I can just make it a habit."  A lifetime.  A pebble.

Looking at my posts last year, I noticed that my last in October was just a sort of summation.  It really didn't say much.  I have so little time anymore.  The end of October had us visiting an art museum to see a Van Gogh exhibit with my Mom while my husband was in New York for his Uncle's funeral.  And it was also Halloween.  We didn't go Trick or Treating for the very first time this year.  Sugar Bear decided he wanted to hand out candy instead.  My boys are growing up so fast!  A blink and they are both young men.

In November I had to give CPR to a neighbor that unfortunately didn't make it.  It threw my world into a bit of a spin.  I still went to the JDRF summit but was in a state of shock, it wasn't the refuel it usually is and that I needed.  We had a very quiet Thanksgiving at home.  Drago had decided that Thanksgiving is just too many carbs and makes him feel awful.  We also had another EGD done on him that showed GERD is still an issue and added Gastropareisis to his growing lists of diagnoses.  Stomach issue and diabetes are not friends, it makes everything even more unpredictable.

And December had me at the JDRF awards as well as having a quiet holiday at home.  We like quiet. It lets us relax as much as we can.

This month has had us doing some new things.  Sugar Bear has started on the Omnipod pump, just in time for his 12th birthday!   He has only been at it for a little less than two weeks but he loves it.  He has been amazing with it.  Even wearing it on his legs and belly.  Every day he impresses me.

The company I work for had our employee party this month and for the very first time since diagnosis (3 years) someone besides family (hubby's parents or my Mom) or diabetes camp had the boys over so we could go out without too much worry.  It was so freeing!  Every once in awhile you forget about that pebble and it almost reminds you of how it would feel to take the shoe off.

So back to the endo appointment today.  We love our endocrinologist.  We love our nurse.  We have some work to do with Sugar Bear, his A1c is the highest it has been since diagnosis, of course he's been sick with strep recently, but still.  Drago's A1c is still fantastic.  Both boys have areas to improve, who doesn't.  And we were almost out of the appointment when our Doctor got the thyroid test results.  I don't know why it took my breath away.  It's not like I didn't know it was coming or that we can't handle it.  I think it's like that pebble, it hit a soft spot.  Another precious organ lost the battle.