Wednesday, April 15, 2015


It has been a very busy week.  My stepson was in town and we got to visit for awhile and then my in-laws came for a visit, the boys had ortho appointments and Sugar Bear got braces, Drago had his first of what will probably be many psychology appointments, hubby and I got to go out to dinner for a few hours, hubby went to a memorial of a beautiful family member that had lived a wonderful life, I had a planning meeting with the school to finally get a 504 together, and a full 40 hour week of work and through it all, Type 1 made itself known.

Drago had a couple of lows at school.  And Sugar Bear actually had some in range.  We made ratio changes for both.  Drago is still having lot's of extra carbs in the middle of the night.  And....and...and...

Some days it seems like all we do is chase highs or lows on one or the other or both.

It has been a weepy week for me.  Two Mamas on my Parents group had their second child diagnosed.  One of The Mamas had her first child only diagnosed three weeks ago and her other child just a couple of days ago.  Just three weeks apart.  And her posts took me right back a month ago to Drago's diagnosis experience and the fact that I haven't really processed it yet.  I haven't really grieved.  At the psychology appointment the Doctor actually talked with both of us for this first visit.  It was eye opening.  She is also a Type 1 and was diagnosed at just six years old.  She seems like she will be a big help not just for Drago but for all of us.

And a date.  Hubby and I got to go to dinner for a couple of hours.  It was lovely.  But Drago was worried about us going out.  He is worried about a lot now.  Sleeping is a big one.  We definitely need a CGM for him.  Just to help with some of his anxiety.

When I was pregnant with Drago there was a moment that we thought we might be having twins.  Fraternal twins run in my family and it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities.  We went a week between the midwife thinking she heard two heartbeats and the ultrasound that said it was just one.  In that short time I dreamed about what it would be like to have two newborns at the same time.  Twice as much work.  I talked with my Grandmother, a Mom of twins.  I had friends that were parents of multiples.  I honestly was a bit disappointed to find out we were "just having one".  But here I sit now with my multiple Type 1s.  A diagnosis of Type 1 feels a lot like having a newborn where that newborn phase doesn't change much and I don't think it will for a very long time.  You run on very little sleep, every couple of hours you have to take care of needs (even through the night), one is constantly checking to make sure they are breathing if they are sleeping, sometimes they both absolutely need you at the same time, schedules are important, and on and on and on.  I guess I should be careful what I dream of having.  Sometimes dreams really do come true.  I'm a Mom of Multiples.  M.O.M.    I have Twin diagnosis.  I will say it would have been even more challenging to have had them diagnosed at the same time (or three weeks apart).  That first year was hard.  So hard.  So a blessing, we had a little over a year to educate ourselves.  But the work, the work is still there.  That hasn't changed.  That newborn phase of work, that sticks around.  And we have two.

So when people ask me how are the boys, how are we doing I honestly don't know how to answer.  Every day we have our struggles.  I don't feel like I'm drowning anymore like I did with Sugar Bear's diagnosis, but I do feel overwhelmed and exhausted.  I try not to sweat the small stuff.  We still just take it one moment at a time.

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